#No #more #apps and my new strategy

The day has come. We are vaccinated, bars are open, and everyone is #down to clown.

It wasn’t until I dove deep back into the bar scene where I realized how much I missed striking up random convos with strangers and simply seeing what spontaneous situations would ensue (with boys and making girl friends too). Every single time I’ve been out validates that the apps are great in the sense that you can get a good sense of how someone looks on paper, but it isn’t until you experience someone’s idiosyncrasies and mannerisms that you can gauge whether or not you are into them.  Many people you could find attractive and interesting in real life could have horrible profile-making skills and messaging styles. On the contrrary, you could find someone fun to talk to via Hinge DM and then when you meet them in person they are completely different.

Post-pandemic, it seems that EVERYONE is looking to meet new people and interact with those that they may have previously. Let’s be real, unless you’ve been allocating too much time to dating like me since you find it to be a fun hobby where you learn about yourself and your likes and dislikes, you’ve likely been deprived. Considering that we ALL endured a pandemic, there are a lot of common ground and topics to discuss.  I hate to say it, but ‘Moderna or Pfizer’ has already been a few times on me, and I was fully enthralled with the conversation. 

Top 3 tips for IN REAL LIFE summer:

  • Don’t shy away from approaching someone you find cute.
  • Exude positive and fun energy – absolutely no one is going to approach you if you seem closed off and like a Debbie downer at the club. 
  • Say yes to new social opportunities (within reason) and take advantage of your loose ties!! 
    • In terms of finding both friends and potential love interests, you aren’t going to meet anyone new if you are hanging around the exact same crowd every weekend. Hang out with your friends’ friends – no one can have too many friends. 

Okay, so my new strategy is aligned with both looking out for my future self and not jumping into bed with strangers when I’m on the verge of blackout and impromptu meeting men when out on the #town.

So the other night, I  hit it off with this man (I will call him T), who definitely is a good 7 years older than me. T had asked if I wanted to leave with him, and I told him I wouldn’t have sex with him.  He kindly respected that choice and said I should still go back with him. I declined. Well, fifteen minutes later the bar was closing, so I checked Uber and it was LITERALLY $100 for me to get home (on a side note, can we commiserate about these skyrocketing Uber prices!!? Absolutely absurd). How convenient for him, considering I was with it enough to know that I did not want to spend that much on an Uber. Naturally, I walked to his home with him, holding hands like #true lovebirds *cringe*. 

Although he frequently insinuated that we should have sex (shocking), I restrained myself and told him I wouldn’t. He definitely gave up and resorted to just cuddling, which I had no problem with. This made me realize it is the attention I like when going out (of course, not every time you go out should be to find male suitors – please have fun with your friends), not the actual hookup.

Realistically, one night stands are rarely enjoyable sex, for you don’t know the person well enough to build that connection that elevates the experience. That said, I am going to stop sleeping with men after just meeting them. We will see if this holds up, but considering T has my number, he knows how to reach me. Evidently, if he wanted to see me again he would reach out. My fresh strategy enables me the satisfaction of talking to new people and confirms that I am fun to talk to and mess around with; however, it eliminates me from having sex with someone who truly doesn’t want any more than that. More importantly, it eliminates the need for me to add another one-syllable name to my body count and the impending std scare.

The takeaways from this fragmented post are:

  • Male prospects are out there in the wild if you are open to them, so don’t hide behind your screen 
  • Not having sex with an attractive, successful and charismatic guy who has your number is really a good gauge as to whether or not they are using you. What a concept! And for those wondering, no he has not texted me since yesterday morning 🙂 

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