The Background

Does dating always need objectives?

Entering the Game

Dating and me are two things that don’t commonly go together. I’m more prone to sending the drunk, 2 am ‘wyd’ DM or a full blown relationship, and there is little in between. I get too invested in a new guy too quickly, and am the type to fantasize about a future with someone after one happy hour in which my mammalian brain succumbs to jumping into bed with him. As if him buying me two Tito’s-sodas merits subpar, unfulfilling sex for me anyways.  I am not good at “being chased;” I think it is because I am impatient and I know what I want. If I want something, why would I make myself wait to have it? Oh, I can tell you the answer to that: maybe by waiting, I would realize that these guys I go on a few dates with are not worthy of my sexual prowess and blunt humor. But no, guy after guy, I still never learn from my mistakes and hope that “this time will be different.” 

Aside from a serious boyfriend in the midst of college and the classic highschool sweetheart relationship, my experience with guys has revolved around drunk hookups with 0 follow-up other than awkward business school avoidances, the occasional Instagram “like,” and the guaranteed “view” of every story. Of course, I would ideally like to meet someone naturally, but this coronavirus-era that we are living in makes that difficult. Also, it is easier to message a few guys on an app first to decide they are bland and perverted rather than wasting expensive makeup to go on a date with someone where you realize they are a total Trump supporter that doesn’t have any aspirations in life. 

As I begin my post-grad “adult life” in Denver, it is now the perfect time for me to re-brand myself in the dating world. Naturally, I am an adept dating app user and it seems that the twentysomething guys of “Men-ver” have an affinity for a cute, intelligent, sarcastic girl like myself.  Unfortunately for me, a large percentage of these “men” have the same tendency to be “overly competitive about everything” and think they are so original to Colorado by enjoying skiing, to make them as boring as the Patagonia-vest wearing, fish-holding, “The Office” lovers that they are. Am I still swiping right on these vanilla boys? Absolutely. 

Now we can get into some of my recent escapades and me needing to create entertainment for myself (currently bored as I still have two more months before my career start-date). I am a firm believer that there is no such thing as a “bad date.” Sure there are times when you purposely schedule drinks at a place you know will close within an hour of your arrival, so you are not stuck listening to yet another guy discuss how crazy it was living in his frat house 5 years ago. But, even if you are stuck hearing about Brad and Chad, at least you will go home knowing that you need a guy that didn’t peak at their 2014 champagne and shackles party when he ended up sleeping on the roof off 711 and still talks about it. You learn from every single date, good and bad. 

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